THEMES
The story in 'Yes. No. Sorry. I love you.' is primarily about the relationship between Adam and his Dad, Tony, but there are other themes too. A few, which I've picked out and talked a little about below, are:
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Attraction
Communication
Honesty
Confidence
Modern life
and
Courage.
Attraction
Attraction is that amazing feeling in a relationship when you can be yourself and it's easy. It's like the proverbial lightening in a bottle - powerful, electric, consuming, precious. However, it also demands, needs actually, attention and nurturing to maintain the beautiful, inspiring light that once emanated from it. It can easily be forgotten, humming away quietly but lost under the noise of a relationship, until it exists forlornly in memories.
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It's not meant to live in the past - remember, it's electric, so keep it current. (Cheesy, I know, but a good pun nonetheless).
Talking to women
Communication
Communication is a huge theme of the book, as it is vital in all relationships.
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I think this extract, 'Show you cared', is a fairly typical example of where understanding often breaks down in relationships - when does your partner need support and what does that look like e.g. being empathetic or more active.
Show you cared
Honesty
Often in life, people bottle up how they're feeling, but it inevitably manifests itself in some form or other. Others may choose to ignore it, or at least not mention it out of respect for someone's privacy, but often that can mean tolerating behaviour that isn't acceptable. Tony is of a different generation, with 'old-fashioned' values - 'tell it like it is'. Such honesty of course, carries risk, but such is life.
Waiting your turn
Confidence
The old adage, 'youth is wasted on the young', could easily be countered with 'the old buy experience with their time'.
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Over time, hopefully, people become more comfortable in their own skin, the shell of self-consciousness and anxiety having crumbled away from a lifetime of falling down, picking yourself back up, and adjusting your gait accordingly.
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Confidence is happiness, because it implies surety - who you are, what you know, and where you're going.
The Edwards Charm
Modern life
Life has a habit of pulling us in all kinds of ways. Times obviously change, and the causes of stress, but people haven't changed much over generations. When you get to the heart of things, our wants and needs, the things that motivate us, and the things that cause us anxiety, usually involve other people.
People will always find ways to cause stress in others, just like they always have, they can just do it now in more modern ways.
The Yellow Theme
Courage
For me, this is the main theme of the book. Life is wonderful, and full of joy, and moments of happiness, but it's also incredibly hard, and to get through it, you need to be courageous. Being truthful, and doing the right thing, takes courage. Admitting to others when you're wrong, thereby showing your ignorance, takes courage. Planning for the future, and resisting instant gratification, takes courage.
Saying 'yes' takes courage because often it means taking a risk.
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Saying 'no' takes courage because it can mean asserting yourself, which may be to the detriment of what others want you to do.
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Saying 'sorry' takes courage because you're admitting weakness and asking for forgiveness, which may not be granted.
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Saying 'I love you' takes courage because you're investing a part, usually all, of yourself, in someone, knowing that at any moment they could be gone.
Time to Build
